I am going to keep some parts of this posting vague, for the simple reason of avoiding the necessity of explaining things in detail, which I would have to do for you to understand what I'm talking about. If I keep it vague, I can still get the point across, but keep things to the point.

A lot has changed since my last journal. I am not too religious. I have my own points of view that I have acquired over time by learning about many different religions and comparing them to each other, then taking what I feel is real out of them, and leaving what I feel is false. I could be wrong, but I don't think so since I conceive religion as basically just a strong faith in certain beliefs. I grew up being taught many things, several of which I have since learned are not true or created by a specific church. Learning that what you believe is actually not to be trusted has a tendency to destroy the faith you have.

I talk about this because of the new apartment. On July 1st, I will be moving into it, with her joining me a couple of weeks later. It took longer to find this apartment than any previous. It was a struggle, but I think it was meant to be. We found many, but there was always something preventing us from getting it, anywhere from it was too expensive to not accepting my credit (it was destroyed mostly during my divorce) to not allowing pets (we have 2 cats and refuse to get rid of either one). I will not mention her religion because I don't know if she would be comfortable with that, but I will say that she prayed about it and was told that we would find an apartment by Wednesday (June 17th), and to watch for the number 6. She asked me to trust in that, and I did. Well, on the 16th, I spoke with my old landlords who just happened to have a two bedroom apartment available, and I set it up to look at it the next day. It's not quite perfect, but it has everything we need and for a price we can afford, so I spoke with them and they said they would let me know. On the 18th we still hadn't heard anything, then found out on the 19th that they were out of town. At the end of it all, we got the place on the 19th, just in time for me to go to work that evening. She pointed out to me later that we couldn't have gotten it until that day, because it was the 19th (more on that in a minute). This made us think about how it worked out. We were told to watch for the number 6 (June 16th we found the place), that we would have a home by that next Wednesday (the 17th, when I looked at it), and on the 19th we were accepted to be tenants.

Now, for the 19th. I will not go into detail about each one, but that is a special date throughout our relationship. October 19th, December 19th, Februrary 19th, March 19th, June 19th, and next month, July 19th. We do not plan these days because of the date, it just happens to work out that way. Each of these days has a significance for us, and I believe it will continue to work that way.

Another example is the financial side of things. Every time that we've needed a significant sum of money to cover something, it has shown up in unexpected ways. We struggle to save, and we do pretty well considering, but that's not always enough. Things always seem to work out in the end, though, proven time and again. I truly believe that this is related to my previous journal, "Perception," which I follow the ideas in that posting more and more.

I really don't have a reason to talk about all of this. I think it's just building up in my mind and I needed a way to let it all out. That's what I like about these, they're a good way to vent or relax, and you can get feedback from others that may help the situation. I'm just enjoying the way things have been going, the direction that life is headed. For years I've felt that I don't deserve to be happy or have a good life, but since then I've learned that if I don't strive for that, then what's the point of trying to give that to others? How can I share happiness if I don't understand it myself?